Welcome To My Life
by blackmoore11
Summary: Multiple chapter songfic on welcome to my life by simple plan. Focuses around Chazz. Please read and review! my first story! flames allowed! I DO NOT OWN YUGIOH!GX, THE CHARACTERS, OR THE SONG!
1. Chapter 1

**Okies this is my first fic on here so tell me whatcha think. Be brutally honest and flame all you want just as long as the flames are honest!**

**Enjoy!**

Chapter One

Promotion ExamJaden v. Chazz

Chazz fell to his knees. He'd lost. He'd been humiliated. By who? Jaden Yuki! A Slifer! Where? In front of the entire school.

Jaden laughed. "Sweet duel, Chazz. If you ever wanna duel again, I'll be here!"

_Fuck you, Slifer Slacker!_ Chazz wanted to say to that burnett. Fortunatly, his better judgement kicked in and he sat there in silence.

"Uh...Chazz? You okay?" Jaden asked.

"Like you care?" Chazz shot back.

"Yeah, actually...That's why I asked."

"Idiot." Chazz muttered.

"What?"

"Nothing." Chazz answered, standing and walking off.

That night, Chazz's roommates were giving him a hard time about the duel.

"Good job today, Chazz."

"Yeah you really showed that slifer."

"He got lucky, that's all." Chazz uttered.

"He seems to be doing that a lot lately."

"Shut up."

"I thought you were gonna be the next King of Games?"

"I _am_." Chazz corrected.

"You're not off to a very good start."

"Shut up!"

"So much for being one of the top duelists at the academy."

"Yeah I know. Hey Chazz maybe next time you should 'get your game on'!" His two roommates burst into laughter.

Chazz jumped up. On the brink of tears he screamed. "SHUT UP! BOTH OF YOU! JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP!" With that Chazz ran out of the door. He ran down the hall and out of the dorm. He ran as fast as he could into the forest and kept running. Tears streaming down his face. He finally stopped to catch his breath. He punched the nearest tree as hard as he could over and over again. _Fuck you Jaden! Fuck all of you! I tried my hardest!_ "HEAR THAT!" Chazz screamed into the night sky. "I TRIED MY HARDEST!" He stopped punching the tree. His knuckles torn and bleeding. "I tried my... fucking hardest...my hardest..." He fell down to his knees. "...just wasn't good enough." He starred at his knuckles for a moment before punching the tree once more.

_Do you ever feel like breaking down?_

_Do you ever feel out of place?_

_Like somehow you just don't belong_

_And no one understands you?_

**Well? More chaps to come if you like so review, critique, and flame if i should finish it or not!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Thx for all the reviews ya'll 3 ya all! Longer Chap! YAAY!**

**Chapter Two**

**Promotion ExamBastion v.Chazz**

"Demoted!" Slade yelled.

Chazz nodded. "Yeah."

"You can't let that happen." Jagger stated.

"I know."

"Because if you do..."Jagger started, waiting for his youngest brother to finish.

"Then I won't be the best."

"And why do you have to be the best?"

"Because I am a Princeton and I owe it to you."

"That's right." Jagger applauded. "Now go win."

"And if we hear otherwise," Slade threatened. "you know what'll happen."

"Yes." Chazz agreed, fear in his voice. "I know."

"Good." His two brothers hung up.

Chazz sat in silence. Replaying the conversation he'd just had with his brothers. _"You know what'll happen"_ Echoed in his mind. He tensed up. "FUCK YOU!" Chazz screamed, throwing his boot at the TV.

"Hey Chazz, You alright?" His roommate asked hearing the obsinity and crash.

Chazz sighed. "Yeah sorry."

"Your duel tommarrow?" He asked, sitting next to Chazz.

"Yeah."

"Just remember, " He started "Never let your guard down. After all, this isn't a slifer sludge. It's a Ra." He smiled. Chazz beat him with his other boot, infuriated. His roomate jumped up and started to leave. Badly bruised. "And don't let him get lucky." He left.

Chazz took a deep breath and ran his hands through his hair. _Why me! Wait!_ He sat up straight and looked through the window. Just in time to see his opponent head of to the slifer dorm. Chazz smiled._ That's it!_ He ran out of the dorm.

Chazz Princeton and Dr. Vellian Crowler stood in one of the academy's dueling arenas. Waiting for his opponent to show up.

Bastion Misawa ran through the arena doors, followed by Syrus Truesdale and Jaden Yuki. _Shit!_ Chazz silently cursed.

Jaden acused Chazz of destroying Bastion's deck. Chazz denyed it. Just then, Alexis and Zane showed up. Alexis vouced for Bastion.

_It isn't 'stealing' _Chazz thought_ It's 'sabatouge'. My brothers do it everyday._ Chazz froze. His eyes widened._Did I... stoop to Jagger's and Slade's level! Shit!_

/A/N- I can't write duels suo... skip skip skip/

The duel ended. Chazz fell to his knees. _No no no no no no no no no no no no no! _He jumped up and ran off. _Fuck fuck fuck!_ He ran all the way back to his dorm. Swearing and cursing everything and everyone he saw.

He slammed the door to his room. He made sure no one was there. To him the room was spinning. His body was tense. His mind was completely numb. He'd never felt this way before. He didn't know what to do, what to think. His throat tightend. He wanted to sceam. He wanted to be alone. Didn't want anyone to hear him.

Numbly, he turned on his stereo. He could drown the scream he so desperately desired out with the music. Or vise-versa. His favorite song, Welcome to my Life by Simple Plan, played through the speakers. He turned up the volume as loud as it would go. He screamed.

He still felt numb. He didn't know what to do to change that. He starred around the room. Something shiney caught his eye. Scissors.

_That's it!_ He picked up the scissors. Completely calm. He brought the blade down onto his pale skin. Dark crimson liquid poured from his arm. He smiled and did it again, deeper. He winced. He countinued, cutting deeper each time. It hurt so bad. With the sixth and deepest cut, he screamed again, louder. Screaming at the top of his lungs. Letting out all his pain either through his blood or vocal chords.

He stopped. Dizzy and out of breath. He hid the scissors and wrapped his arm in bandages.

His roommates walked in just as Chazz was done bandaging himself."What?" He asked sharply.

"Crowler says if you don't turn down the music you'll be in big trouble."

Chazz rolled his eyes and turned it off. _Tell Crowler to bite me!_

"You lost didn't you?"

"Maybe I did, maybe I didn't. What's it to ya?" Chazz snapped."

"You lost."

"Wow Chazz! You must be the most 'unlucky' Obelisk at the academy!" His roommates laughed. Chazz sat in silence, letting them laugh. To disoriented from blood loss to care what they said. He had bigger problems to worry about.

_I gotta get out of here! If word gets around to Jagger and Slade I'll be killed! Unless..._

_Do you ever wanna run away?_

_Do you lock yourself in your room?_

_With the radio on turned up so loud_

_That no one hears you screaming?_

**Well? better? worse? same? let me know!**


	3. Chapter 3

**sry this chapter is really really short but read and review neway!**

**remember: 1)I do NOT own ygo, or this song**

**2)flames are welcomed b/c my crush is a pyro! lol**

**Chapter Three**

**Drop Out**

It was about 5:00 in the morning and Chazz Princeton was packing. He'd made up his mind. He was leaving Duel Academy. No one could stop him. He'd been put down as a loser for the last time. He couldn't risk Jagger and Slade finding that out. So he was dropping out. He wasn't sure where he was going. He loved dueling and Duel Academy had been the only home he'd ever known. There had to be some way to further his education without staying ad Duel Academy and without his brothers finding him.

As he zipped up his backpack it occured to him where he could go. "North Academy". He whispered into the dark. He smiled to himself."Perfect"

He stood up. Slinging this backpack over one shoulder. He glanced back at his roommates. The friends he had only because he was a great duelist. Now he was nothing. So he had nothing. No one. He deserved it. That's what he'd always been taught. He turned and quietly left the Obelisk Blue Dorm.

He walked off the campus to the docks. He turned and looked back at the academy for the last time. "Good by, fucking Duel Academy. You've laughed at me for the last time. You don't know what you're loosing."

He threw down his bag and sat on the docks. Waiting for the man he'd called the nite before to come get him. Getting bored as the minutes passed, he opened his backpack. Glanced over his shoulders to be sure no one was watching. He took out the scissors from the nite before. He rolled up his sleeves and brought the blade down, adding to the six cuts already there.

As the sun rose, a yaht came into sight. His ride out of there. He threw the blade into his bag, zipped it up. He pulled down his sleeve as he stood, covering the seven small shallow cuts and the six large ones.

As the boat took off with him on board he thought: _Good by Duel Academy. Hello North!_

_---No you don't know what it's like_

_When nothing feels alright_

_You don't know what it's like to be like me---_

**well? i know it's short. sry once again. and i know chazz wasn't planning on going to north academy at first but i didn't know that when i wrote this and hey it's my story so HA!**

**Oh and a side note to all the awesome ppl who have reviewed and put me on their fave lists let me just say:**

**"Je habt erg witte tanden"**

**now w/ that said and done i ask (remider this is TOTALLY OPTIONAL) that in your reviews (only if you want) that you put**

**"Om je better mee op to eten" okay? i'll tell ya'll what it means in the next chappy i pinkie promise! (XXX OOO)**


	4. Chapter 4

**Sorry I haven't updated in so long! I've been grounded. **

**So here is the translation you've all been waiting for! drum roll **

**Je habt erg witte tanden -dutch**

**What white teeth you have-english**

**Om je better mee op to eten-dutch**

**The better to eat you with-english **

**this chapter is for all those who reviewed and read. luv ya'll! kisses and hugs**

**LOL wasn't that fun? now back to the story:**

**Chapter Four**

**North Academy**

It had been exactly three weeks since Chazz arrived at North Academy. He had already earned the title of the "best duelist" at the academy. Not that that was a big deal to Chazz. They were all sorry duelists to him. Worse than the slifers as Chazz often thought.

Soon, everyone started talking about the upcomming 'School Duel'. "Who was gonna duel?" "Who would be picked?" "Who's the opponent?" "I hope it's me!" Everyone seemed to want to participate. Everyone but Chazz. He couldn't care less who dueled who. Duel Academy vs. North Academy. So fucking what?

All he wanted to do was hide from the world, duel, and cut. In those three weeks, cutting had become so addictive. It was all he thought about. He believed it was interfearing with his schooling and duels.

Chazz had also become somewhat paranoid. Afraid someone would catch him cutting or see his arms. He then switched to his legs and only slitting his wrists on 'special' occasions.

One day, he was i his room cleaning the blood from the scissors and rolling down his pant leg, when one of his classmates came in. "Guess what!" He yelled ecstatic.

"What?" Chazz replied, pretending to care.

"You're our rep for the School Duel!"

Chazz's eyes doubled in size. "What!"

"You didn't know? Well duh! You're the best duelist here! who else was gonna duel?" The classmate smiled. "Chancellor Foster wants to talk to you about your duel."

"What ever." Chazz left his room. He entered Foster's office.

"Congratulations Chazz! You'll represent our school this year in the School Duel."

"So I heard." Chazz paused.

"Something wrong?"

"Well, it's just that...When I left Duel Academy I didn't think I was ever going back and..." Chazz shook his head "Nevermind...I'll do it."

"Great."

"Yeah." _It'll be a great opportunity to show Duel Academy what I'm made of!_

Standing next to Chancellor Foster in front of the entire academy was Chazz. Foster had just announced that Chazz was North Academy's rep. The students cheered.

Foster turned to Chazz and handed him a brief case of cards. "Use these and you'll win." He told the student.

As Chazz took the brief case the crowd spontaneously burst into a chant. "Chazz it up! Chazz it up! Chazz it up! Chazz it up!" They cheered over and over again.

For the first time in months, Chazz smiled. _"Chazz it up" huh? I like that. _He thought. _If only my brothers could hear this._

_To be hurt_

_To feel lost_

_To be left out in the dark_

_To be kicked when you're down_

_And feel like you've been pushed around_

_To be on the edge of breaking down_

_And no one's there to save you_

_No you don't know what it's like_

_Welcome to my life_

**well? i know i know another short chapter but the next one not only will be the longest one yet, but it will introduce the one and only PROFFESSOR LYMAN BANNER! whoot whoot lol thx for reading and r&r**


	5. Chapter 5

**sry for the long wait guys but i'm back!**

**-it seems i did some incorrect translations w/ my quote sry bout all that peeps! plz dont throw fruit at me! lol**

**chapter five**

**school duel-opponents**

The North Academy students arrived at Duel Academy. Chazz stood in front of the group. His eyes locked on Jaden's. Anger surged through his veins. He gritted his teeth.

"Haay Chazz! You come to see me duel!" Jaden asked with a smile.

"What?" Chazz asked._ Don't tell me Jaden's--_

"Uh..Jaden?" Chancellor Shepard explained. "Chazz _is_ your duel opponent."

_--that._

"Sweetness!" Jaden beamed. "May the best man win, Chazz."

"Believe me, I will."

"Aaaaannnndddd cut!" A man yelled.

They all looked around. They were surrounded by cameras, microphones, and bounce cards. _What the--_

"Hey lil bro!" A mocking voice yelled.

Chazz looked up to see his brothers in a helicopter. _Fuck._ "Jagger! Slade! What's going on!"

"We're broadcasting your duel live to the entire world!" Slade explained.

"So everyone can see that the Princeton's are the best!"

"How'd you find me!"

"You didn't think you could hide forever did you?"

_Why me?_ Chazz silently asked. _Why fucking me!_

---------------------

Chazz stood in the bathroom starring into his reflection in the mirror. "You have to win this, Chazz." He said to himself. "You have to...or else..."_ I don't even wanna think of what Slade meant!_ He started crying. He couldn't help it. "Your weak Chazz! You'll never amount to anything! Unless you become the best!" He sighed."You're no where close."

Jaden peered around the corner and saw Chazz yelling at himself. _What in the-_

Chazz opened his backpack and took out his scissors. "You know what you have to do..." He brought up the blade. "So do it." He held his wrist over the sink and repeatedly cut it. He turned on the water and let it mix with the blood as it rolled down the drain. "C'MON CHAZZ! BE THE BEST!"

_Oh my God..._Jaden stumbled back. _He can't be... Oh God...He needs help...I...I gotta find somebody!_ Jaden decided as he ran off.

--------------------------------

Chazz was in the locker room with his brothers getting ready for the School Duel.

"You know what to do?" His brother asked. Chazz nodded.

"Know what'll happen if you lose?" He nodded again.

"What are you going to do?"

"Win..." Chazz answered, slightly light headed from blood loss.

"Good." Jagger replied handing him a briefcase of rare and powerful cards. "Use these."

Chazz nodded taking the cards.

"Go win." Slade commanded as he and Jagger left the locker room.

------------------------------

"PROFFESSOR BANNER!" Jaden screamed as he ran up to his teacher.

"What's wrong Jaden? You should be preparing for your duel."

"I know but- It's Chazz. I over heard him talking and..."

"Yes?"

Jaden took a deep breath. "I think he was hurting himself."

"What!"

Jaden made a motion with his hand like he was cutting his wrist. "Seriously hurting himself!"

"Okay...You go get ready...And I'll talk to Chazz...about..."

"But he's my opponent!"

"He can't hurt himself _during_ a duel." Banner explained. " I'll talk to him.Dont worry. And good luck, Jaden."

"Thank Proffessor." The slifer student yelled over his shoulder running to the duel arena.

_---Do you wanna be somebody else?_

_Are you sick of feeling so left out?_

_Are you desperate to find something more_

_Before your life is over?------_

**suuo...there it is! the new chap! whadja think? remeber:**

**flames acceptable**

**fruit throwing not acceptable**

**till next time! KEEP IT CHAZZY FOLKS! ;)**


	6. Chapter 6

**So so sorry for the long wait peeps! But I'm back! Enjoy! as always, read, review, be honest and flames are allowed! Remember: I CANNOT WRITE DUELS!**

**Chapter Six**

**School Duel**

The duel started and from the begining it was a close match. Finally, time came for Jaden to deliver the final blow. He was hesitant.

"What are you waiting for!" Chazz asked. "Go ahead and finish it!"

"Chazz. I- No. I--"

"Don't you want to win?"

"Yeah. Of course I want to win! I just... Don't want you to lose."

"What?"

"If you lose... Will you go back and hurt yourself again?"

Chazz was shocked and the whole world knew it. _Jaden know's my secret? Fuck!_ "You think I'm a masochist?" Jaden nodded. "Do you know what a masochist is?" The burnett nodded again. "Tell me."

"You're a cutter." Jaden stated. The whole arena gasped.

"Am I?"

"I saw you in the bathroom. You were cutting... right?"

Chazz glanced up at his brothers. A mix between shock and anger were obvious on their faces. Chazz smiled. He began clapping, applauding Jaden. "Very good Jaden! You've discovered my secret!" The North Academy student rolled up his jacket and shirt sleeves and held his arm up in the air for the whole world to see. The newest cuts from before the duel were in the shapes of letters.

Jaden's eyes widened when he realized what is said. **_"Chazz It Up" _**"You're crazy! You need help!"

"What do you care! Nobody in this arena cares about me! Not you, none of the teachers, not even my own brothers! Sure you all pretend to care. But let's face it, you really don't. I have no friends. My only family hates me because I'm about to lose this duel infront of the entire world. And ya know what? I couldn't care less if I lose this duel. I reall couldn't. Know why? Because you're right. Even if I _did _win, I'd still be a cutter. Win or lose I would've hurt myself. So what if I hurt myself? Who cares if I commit suicide?"

"I do." Jaden answered.

"Liar!"

"I'm not! Just look around you, Chazz. Everyone from both of your schools is watching you. Of the millions of people watching, how can you say that not _one_ person cares?"

"What do you know? You know nothing about me! You're just a lousey slifer slacker!"

"I know I don't. I'm not trying to say I do. Just trust me, as soon as the duel's over, Proffessor Banner and I will get you help."

"I don't wan't help." Chazz replied flatly.

"You _need _help!" Jaden begged. "C'mon Chazz! Let us give you something those brothers of yours never could!" Chazz's eyes widened. "We can help you."

Tears threatened to fall from the masochists eyes. _They really do care._ He let them fall. "Ok. Attack me, Jay."

Jaden smiled as tears formed in his eyes. "Elemental Hero Flammed Wing Man! Attack!"

"Stop the cameras!" Slade yelled.

"It's too late." Jagger stated. "The entire world knows he's a masochist."

_----Are you stuck inside a world you hate?_

_Are you sick of everyone around?_

_With the big fake smiles and stupid lies_

_While deep inside you're bleeding?----_

**Yeah... The ending is about as far as my dueling ability goes... haha... thx and sry again!**


	7. Chapter 7

**howdy ya'll! sry for the delay! been busy w/ stuff and a nine yr old bro that likes to read over shoulders and it would NOT be good for him to read about "The Chazz" wanting to die... so! but before i begin i have some stuff i gotta say:**

_**I am dedicating this chapter to one of (if not) my biggest fan. Blushomatic aka Anna or Krissy. But to me she's my special Noel. See, I kinda let her down not once but lotsa times. It used to say on my profile that I was bi. Well I pretty much am but I took it down cause I was still questioning myself. Last nite she wanted me to be there for her when she came out. I wasn't but I'm making it up to her now. I just wanted to dedicate Chapter seven of my ex-g/f's favorite story to her. It's the least I can do. She mite be posting some stories back up here. If she does I ask you to please not flame her! Thanks for your time! Love ya Babe! XOXO Your Rain**_

**Chapter Seven**

**School Duel Aftermath**

"What the fuck was that!" Slade yelled.

"A duel." Chazz answered bluntly.

"That was the saddest excuse of a duel I've ever seen!" Jagger snapped back.

"You lost, Chazz!" Slade yelled. "You're weak! Nothing!"

"A sad excuse for a duelist... And a Princeton!"

"You are no longer a brother of ours!"

"What! Please! Give me another chance!" Chazz begged.

"This_ was_ your _last_ chance, Chazz, and you blew it!"

"I'm sorry!"

"Hey! Hold up!" Jaden yelled. "It was just one duel! It's no big deal! Right Chazz?"

" 'Just one duel' ? You don't understand anything!"

"Chazz is weak. He can't do anything on his own! And this duel proved that." Jagger explained.

"Cutting is also a sign of weakness."

"Now I don't know about that! He lost this duel on his own and took defeat like a man." Jaden explained. "Which I can't say about you two!"

"Chazz was rite about one thing." Slade started. "He doesn't mean anything to anybody."

"Oh really?" Jaden asked as the entire arena started chanting. North Academy and Duel Academy. Students and Teachers.

"CHAZZ IT UP! CHAZZ IT UP! CHAZZ IT UP! CHAZZ IT UP!"

"C'mon Chazz, let's go." Jaden smiled. Chazz smiled back. The two duelists left the arena together. Chazz leaving behind his brothers. For the first time in a longtime he was happy. He was free. He glanced back at his stunned brothers. He smiled. Then flipped them off.

"Thank you Jaden."

"It was no big."

_Yes it was._ Chazz almost persisted._ More than you know._

_--------No you don't know what it's like_

_When nothing feels alrite_

_You don't know what it's like _

_To be like me-------_

**Honestly, could i write a shorter chapter! lol oh well. tell me whatcha think! Hope ya'll liked! muah muah! **


	8. Chapter 8

**Okay next chap! first one before skool starts! yaay longer than last chap swear! lets see if i lost ne fans due to last times dedication/confession... (ya'll can reply on that if u want i dont care) remember flames r ok long as their truthful! thx and enjoy! Oh and btw, i'm sorry for all my spelling, grammar, and punctuation errors... i'm not that good at ne and somtimes i spell in old english... so yeah... **

**Chapter Eight**

**New Roommate**

"So, now what?" Jaden asked Chazz as they stood on the docks.

"I'd like to stay here, " Chazz answered. "And get help... If that's okay with you Chancellor Shepard."

"Of course! We'd love to have you back Chazz." Shepard smiled. "But there is one thing. Banner?"

Proffessor Banner explained to Chazz that because he dropped out and is now returning he'd become a Slifer Red student.

"WHAT THE FU--reak!" Chazz yelled. _Shit!_

Jaden put an arm around Chazz's shoulders. "Can he room with us Proffessor! PLEASE!"

"Sure! If it's okay with Chazz."

"I DON'T WANNA BE A SLIFER!" Chazz whined. Everybody laughed.

"C'mon let's get ya settled in Chazz!" Jaden yelled. He grabbed Chazz's wrist and ran off towards the Red Dorms. Syrus and Chumley following.

Chazz screamed. "JADEN! JADEN! LET GO!" Jaden stopped.

"What's wrong?"

Chazz pulled away and rolled up his sleeve. "This is my bad wrist, guiness!" The 'Chazz It Up' scar had been re-opened. "Fuck.

"Oh My God! Sorry sorry sorry!" Jaden apologixed over and over.

"It's okay...Shit that hurts..."

"Then why'd'ja do it?" Syrus asked.

Chazz's eyes locked on Sy's eyes darkly. "What?"

"W-Why'd you hurt y-your-self?"

"Have you ever been addicted to something?" Chazz asked. Syrus shook his head. "It's near impossible to break and addiction. You can't do it alone." His eyes never leaving Syrus. "Masochism is an addiction **(1)**. It's fun. Feels good. I like it, sometimes. I'm alone. Nobody helps me. Nobody cares. It gets worse. It consumes me, controls me. Can't stop. And until today, Nobody noticed. And nobody cared."

"We care." Jaden said with a smile.

"I know." Chazz smiled at Jaden. "Thank you."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Okay this is our room." Jaden stated. "This is whre you'll sleep." He explained pulling out the extra bed. "This is my bed, Sy's, and Chumley. I know it's small but we'll live. Don't worry, Chazz, It's not that bad. You'll like Slifer. I promise. And don't worry about the addiction thing or whatever it was. Proffessor Banner's gonna getcha so meds. The school counselor's really nice. You can talk to her about your problems. Or you can talk to us! Cause we're here for ya Chazzy! Alexis is cool, too. I'm sure she'd be more than happy to help ya! And if your bros ever come back for ya, we'll make sure they regret everything they've done to ya! ..." Jaden continued rambling.

Chazz leaned over to Syrus. "Does he always talk this much?"

"Sometimes."

"Great..." _Why fucking me?_

_---To be hurt_

_To feel lost_

_To be left out in the dark_

_To be kicked when your down_

_And feel like you've been pushed around_

_To be on the edge of breaking down_

_And no one's there to save you_

_No you don't know what it's like_

_Welcome to my life.---_

**(1) My opinion on masochism. Pretty much. It's an addiction. The reason it feels so good is cause in most cases the person becomes "numb". In mind and body can't feel anything, Anything but pain. which is why it feels so good! **

**Let me know if I'm wrong or not!**

**Things to do to prevent cutting but still getting rid of numb feeling:**

**take a hair ty/rubber band and snap it on your wrist.**

**if have long nails then just drive them into your hand or arm**

**scream**

**listen to heavy metal/screamer music so loud till you get a head ache/ and or your ears throb**

**i know not too ideal but it beats slitting or cutting! (can u tell how much i wanna be a shrink? lol)**


	9. Chapter 9

**Merry Christmas!!!! Sry for the delay!!!**

**Chapter Nine**

**Slifer Slacker**

"Chazz, may I have a word with you?" Proffessor Banner asked after class.

"What."

"Chazz, I know you haven't been taking your anti-depressants." Banner confessed.

"Yeah, so what if I have?" Chazz asked. "I also stopped seeing the counselor but what are you gonna do about that?"

"How do you expect to get help if--"

"What if I don't want help?! Yeah I used to but it's not working! I'm not strong enough to keep trying! Why can't you and Jaden get that through your heads!?"

"You have to try. You _can_ get better."

"I never try hard enough, I'm never strong enough, I'm never good enough for--"

"Your brothers! But they are not here anymore!"

"Yes they are! They made me this way! I was raised this way! I've lived this way my whole life! I can't change even if I wanted to!"

"_That_ is your problem." Banner stated.

"Huh?"

"You _don't_ want to but you should. That is why you're like this."

"You don't know anything!" Chazz snapped. "You think you know it all but you don't!"

"Then I guess you'll just have to trust me."

Chazz was quiet for a moment. "I can't do it."

"You _can_ do it."

"No! You don't get it!" Chazz yelled. "I _can't_."

"Why not?"

"Because I--" Chazz fell silent. He took off his Red jacket and held out his arms. **_'Be The Best'_**, **_'You're Weak', 'Slifer Slacker'. _** New cuts in his arms. They spoke for themselves. Banner remained silent, not sure what to say. "I'm scared. Last nite, I did this." Chazz explained pointind to a deep cut in one of his wrists. "It was really deep. I couldn't stop the blood. I thought... I was gonna die..."

"No Chazz. No. You are not gonna die."

"But what if I--"

"Let us help you. Me and the other teachers. One last chance."

Chazz nodded. "One last chance."

_---No one ever lied straight to your face_

_And no one ever stabbed you in the back_

_You might think I'm happy _

_But I'm not gonna be okay---_

**Chap dedicated to Darks00 just because I like em. **


	10. Chapter 10

**OMG a thousand apologies my loyal fans!!!!!**

**Chapter Ten**

**Cause and Effect**

_**"Be the best, Chazz!" **__Slade yelled._

_**"You're weak!" **__Jagger yelled._

_**"Worthless!"**_

_**"Failure!"**_

_**"Hopeless!"**_

_**"You'll never amount to anything!"**_

_**"Slifer Slacker!!!"**_

_Those insults cut him like a knife. They cut him deeper then he ever could. Deeper than he ever would._

_**"You're weak!" **__They yelled again._

_**"I'm weak..." **__Chazz repeated._

_**"That's right."**_

_**"No. No. No. NO!!!"**_

Chazz sat up quickley in his bed in a coldsweat. Tears had fallen from his eyes.

"You okay?" A small voice asked.

"Hm? Yeah."

"I heard you screaming." Syrus stated, sitting next to Chazz. "Anything you wanna talk about?"

"No." Chazz lied. "Go back to bed."

"Are you gonna hurt yourself?"

"Nah." He lied again.

Syrus yawned. "Okay. See ya in the morning." He climbed back into his bunk. He fell asleep quickley.

_Idiot._ Chazz thought as he pulled his scissors out from under his mattress.

_**"You're weak!"**_ Echoed in his mind over and over. Tear fell to his eyes with realization of how true this statement was. He slit his wrists deeper than he'd ever done before. Blood covered him and the bed. It didn't take long before he became light-headed from blood loss. His body began shaking. Knowing this was his last cut, he placed his fingers in his wrist and wrote a message on the wall. He finished. He weakly smiled. Just as the sun began to rise, he blacked out.

_---Everybody always gave you what you wanted _

_You never had to work it was always there_

_You don't know what it's like_

_What it's like---_


	11. Chapter 11

**In regards to "the One" lemme kno if i should keep it going. i will for sure finish this and "what you don't see" but idk about "one" thank you and enjoy!!!**

**Chapter Eleven**

**One Last Chance**

"Kuri!!! Kuri!!!" Jaden's spirit monster, the Winged Kuriboh, frantically attacked Jaden's face in an attempt to wake him. "KURI!!!"

"Mmm..." Jaden slowly woke up. "What is it, Winged Kuriboh?"

"Kuri!!!"

Jaden opened his eyes and Winged Kuriboh motioned to Chazz's pale body. "WHAT THE FREAK!? CHAZZ!!!" Jaden yelled, jumping out of his bed and waking up his other roommates.

"What's wrong Jay?" Syrus asked. "CHAZZ!!!" he jumped out of his bed as well. "Ohmigod Jay! This is my fault! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"

"What? How? Chumley! Go get Proffessor Banner!" Jaden demanded. Chumley ran out of the room grumbling.

Syrus started crying. "I'm sorry... If Chazz dies it will be my fault..."

"No it won't, Sy."

"Yes it will! Last nite he had a nitemare and I woke up and I...I wen't back to bed anyway!!!"

"It's okay,Syrus." Jaden comforted

"No it's not!!!"

"Chazz will be just fine." Proffessor Banner stated. "Chumley, call the infermery."

"P-Proffessor...?"

"What, Jaden?" The burnette pointed up to the wall behind Chazz.

_**--O-N-E--L-A-S-T--C-H-A-N-C-E--**_

"No..."

"Do you know what that means, Proffessor?"

Banner nodded, "I do." At that time, two doctors cam and transported the young Princeton to the school infermery. "The message was for me..." Banner stated. "And I failed..."

_---To be hurt_

_To feel lost_

_To be left out in the dark_

_To be kicked when you're down_

_And feel like you've been pushed around_

_To be on the edge of breaking down_

_And no one's there to save you_

_No you don't know what it's like_

_What it's like---_


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter Twelve**

**The Hospital**

Jaden, Syrus, Chumley, and Proffessor Banner were in the infermery with Chazz. Mrs. Fontaine was working as the doctor for the slifer. "Mrs. Fontaine?" Syrus piped, quietly. "Chazz _is_ going to be okay...rite?"

Her lips smiled, but her eyes could not. "I-I can't be sure...He's lost excessive amounts of blood...And, if he does wake up...Duel Academy won't allow us to be responsible if this happens again. So Chazz will have to be sent away to finish the rest of the school year in a residential treatment facility in Domino."

Syrus broke down into sobs. "THIS IS ALL MY FAULT!!!" He cried, burrying his head in his hands. Chumley lightly rubbed his friends back.

Banner shook his head. "No Syrus..." His hands balled into tight fists, knuckles white. "He said I had one last chance to save him... I failed him. If it's anyone's fault...It's mine..."

Jaden jumped up, naiive smile on his face, "Enough with the guilt trip guys! Chazz is gonna wake up! He's gonna go get help and next year he'll be back and better than ever!"

"You-u're an...a-idiot..." a weak voice grumbled

"CHAZZY!!!" Jaden cheered. "I TOLD YOU! I TOLD YOU!"

The paler than usual slifer layed in his bed motionless. Breathing comming in gasps. His cole eyes remained shut. "Just...because I'm awake...And they're sending me...away...Don't think...That means...I'm better..."

"Chazz I- I'm sorry." Syrus muttered. "I shouldn't've let you-"

"I should be thanking you." A smile grazed the Princeton's lips. "If... I would've cut five minutes earlier...If you wouldn't've woken up and stalled me...I probably wouldn't be here...I would be..." His breath trembled, body shook. "I'm not dead... And I won't die... here in the Slifer hospital... I'm too good for that..." His eyes slowly opened. He nonchalantly starred at the cieling. "Proffessor?"

"Chazz?"

"Congratulations, Proffessor, you did it... You've finally found a way to get me proffessional help."

"No I--"

"Sure it was a round about way of doing it, but you did it." He let out a hallow chuckle. "Thanks."

_---To be hurt _

_To feel lost_

_To be left out in the dark_

_To be kicked when you're down_

_And feel like you've been pushed around_

_To be on the edge of breaking down_

_And no one's there to save you_

_No you don't know what it's like---_

**Alrite everyone! One more chap to go!!! Love you all!!!**


	13. Chapter 13

**Here it is! The moment you have all been waiting for!!! This is the final chapter of "Welcome To My Life" You all have been amazing. thank you all so much for being patient with me and helping me through all this! you've given me the confidence to keep writing! I hope i have made you all proud. Morton Rainey (Secret Window) once said: "the only thing that matters is the ending. it's the most important part of the story, the ending...and this one is very good. this one's perfect." I know mine won't be 'perfect' but i hope it is respectable to the rest of the story!!! I love each and every one of you!!! XOXO. ENJOY!!!!!!!!!**

**Chapter Thirteen**

**Letter**

Chazz sat in the library of Domino's residential treatment facility. He wrote a letter to Jaden back at Duel Academy with a felt tipped pen.

_"Hey Slacker!!!_

_How's life out in the real world? Is everybody still the same? I want you to share this letter with our friends. Yeah, I said it: 'friends'._

_I wanted to thank you all for helping me and staying by me. You are the only friends I've ever had. I'm sorry for never getting the chance to tell you in person. Thank you._

_I am no longer a cutter, but masochism is still an addiction I am having a hard time breaking. You probably wouldn't recognize me. I am no longer underweight. I smile now--and laugh. There is a bald spot on the side of my head and a lot more spots on my legs and arms. Every strand of hair on my head is split. I pull my hair out as a form of self-injury. I now bite my nails--almost down to the cuticle. They won't let me grow them out anymore because I used to scatch my skin raw. Most of the scars on my wrists are faded. They have been replaced with welts and bruises. My doctor gave me a thin hair tie to snap on my wrist. He said he's gonna take it away soon. Damn I'm addicted to the thing. _

_The main reason for my letter is to eternally say good-bye. I've been planning this for a while now and I've worked everything out. I beat the system in a fool-proof plan to kill myself._

_I have spent my free time toying with the cieling light in my room. Tonite after the security rounds (which I will pretend to sleep through), I'll take out the light fixture. I've previously prepared the wires. I will tie the loosened wires around my neck, and hang myself._

_I can't exactly explain why I'm doing this... All I can tell you is that I'll miss you Jay, and everybody at Duel Academy. I will not let any of you feel responsible. I refuse to let you take the blame for what I am planning to do. Thank you again. I'm sorry._

_Good-Bye,_

_Chazz Princeton."_

---Welcome to my life...

Welcome to my life...

Welcome

To

My

Life---


End file.
